Editorial Articles, Writing/Articles

What Annoys Me (Or Just Completely Pisses Me Off)

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The title is pretty self explanatory, but I thought I’d switch things up and write something that’s not what I normally put on here. It’s more about myself and not about books or reviews for once, and it was kind of fun/therapeutic/etc to make an extensive list about the annoyances I face everyday. It’s supposed to be funny, it’s supposed to be serious, it’s supposed to be relatable.

Please Note: This list will be ongoing, and I will add more as it come to mind, and is in no particular order.

  • Social Media posts where people have an image of them “Sleeping”…yeah, it’s totally not posed, its totally not pretentious and fake AF, and I only imagine you had someone wait for you to actually fall asleep (which is creepy, but not likely)
  • Warm Toilet Seats…I mean, someone else’s ass has been on that same seat maybe not even five minutes earlier, so the imagery that our bare asses are embracing each other, physically touching each other and that fills me with disgust, regret and unpleasantness.
  • People Who Request Sleeves on Iced Beverages…Does it stop the condensation? Maybe, but it also doesn’t stop me from thinking your pretentious.
  • Slow Traffic…Bitch, just fucking keep driving. Do you need to be pressing on the brakes when two cars could fit between you and the car ahead when you’re going only 10 mph?
  • Screaming Kids…Working at a Waterpark within an Amusement Park (Namedrop: Valleyfair Family Amusement Park) basically ruined me for kids, so they can all just STFU. This also brings me to my next point…
  • Parent’s Who Do Nothing About Their Screaming Kids…Be a parent, you chose to have kids, either get them to shut up in a public place or go away. Don’t just ignore them and keep having them throw a tantrum over something, nor should you ignore the much deserving glares me and others are throwing at you.
  • Free Food Complainers…Complaining for the sake of getting the meal for free, when an issue is so small or after eating most of it just so you can get free coupons looks so trashy, cheap, obnoxious, and yes…the whole staff is judging you because they are currently venting about you and your awfulness in the back to help them get through the rest of their night. Hope you enjoy looking like gutter trash while scarfing down that free food.
  • Entitlement…Spoiled brats who act like everyone owes them something just piss me off!
  • Racism…We are all human beings underneath; we bleed the same blood, our genes are all the same (to a degree), can we please focus less on our differences? (Yes, I am fully aware I am writing this as a white male in this world, I see my privilege).
  • Politics…What a freakin’ mess that’s turned out to be, especially in recent years. Just a bunch of greed, corruption, and cover-ups to hide what’s really going on, and divide us as a country because we can’t even be Facebook friends with people based off their political views.
  • Not Putting New Toilet Paper in the Holder…You leave it on the counter, you place it right above the holder, I don’t know…I’m just surprised that it must take so much effort for some people to just replace the tube with a new one. I”m pretty sure you can even do it while sitting on your porcelain throne.
  • People Who Don’t Flush…Again, minimal effort to the point that you can still be seated and still be able to do it, and not have the room smell terrible afterwards.
  • Other WWE Fans…seriously, some of the most irrational, fickle, selfish, disrespectful, entitled group of people (not all of them) who will find a way to complain about everything; its to the point that I swear, some of them just keep watching to bash it online. If you hate it so much or complain about it so much, stop watching it. Stop giving Vince money and find something else to watch.
  • When Technology Breaks Down For No Reason…Is nothing built to last, anymore?
  • Searching For Jobs…I can only take rejection so much in one week, and who likes not even hearing back from job recruiters? No One, so don’t ghost. I felt bad doing it once, and I won’t do it ever again.
  • Traffic Lights…I have the worst luck with stop lights, like they know whenever I’m coming and they immediately go yellow then red.
  • When People Talk about their BM’s…Why would anyone want to know anything about that? I bet not even Doctors care to hear about it unless you’re dying.
  • Internet Trolls…sad, pathetic, cowardly, bored, ugly people who really need to find a better passion in life other than tearing people who they wish to be down. Plus, try saying any of that in person and not behind the safety and anonymity of your keyboard in the small basement you live in.
  • Onlyfans…Most of the people on their have their “exclusive” content all over the internet anyways, it’s not like we haven’t already seen it, and for those that charge $24.99 a month to look at your junk?…good luck with that. Not trying to shame sex workers, but seriously, if people want to subscribe, it’ll cost a fortune to even sign up for a handful on profiles.
  • When Every Radio Channel Was on Commercial At the Same Time…Notice I said was; because fuck using the radio anymore. Plus, who likes listening to the same 8 songs on repeat anyways?
  • Being Taken for Granted or Brushed Aside…People tell me that I’m a teddy bear, and they’re right…the one that you abandoned and left on a shelf or in the back of the closet to collect dust and be forgotten about. Do that shit to me and your done. Out of my life. I’m worth more than that.
  • Farting…It smells bad, sounds bad…I get it, better in than out Shrek always says, but do it when no one else is around.
  • Excessive Burping…Similar to the last one, it’s just coming out the other end.
  • Rude Customers…the bane of any retail worker’s life. Check yourself: we are all people and not a human piece of tissue paper that you use to collect your old wad of gum to throw away, have some class, chill the fuck out, and realize that we as employees are never going out of our way to make your life harder on purpose, and sorry if you’re having a bad day for whatever reason, but don’t take it out on us. We are just a stranger trying to get through the day too. This one might even be a separate article, because honestly, people are the absolute worst in how they treat Retail Workers…The customer is NOT always right, screw whoever made that to be. Read between the lines everytime we smile through our teeth and wish you a happy day after you’re a complete dick to us.
  • Musical Episodes of TV Shows…I’ve watched the ones on Grey’s Anatomy, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, literally ALL of Glee, and I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re just random, totally cringeworthy, and I usually question if it’s actually them singing or not.
  • Older Generations Always Struggling on their Smartphones…Google it, look it up, and get with the times, please.
  • Crappy Photos on Social Media…This one sounds pretentious of me, but after taking courses on Photography, it’s just annoying to me now. Also, when I make an effort to take a good photo of someone for their timeline, but I only get half-assed results in return.
  • Fidget Spinners…What a useless fad.
  • How I Overthink Everything…Fuck anxiety.
  • How I Dwell On So Much From Years Ago…Like I said, fuck anxiety. It’s a real bitch.
  • How Bitter I am about High School and 90% of My Graduating Class…Yes I am salty about it, because so many people made me feel insignificant, unimportant, a background character shoved to the back on the stage, hell, behind the curtains. Don’t expect me to go to any reunions.
  • When People Don’t Knock Before Entering a Bathroom…How have people not been raised to not do this? Would you want someone to walk in on you while your sitting on the toilet? Can we just try and avoid this awkward situation at all costs?
  • When People Don’t Move the Mouse on the Projection Screen For A Video…It leaves the bar and menu up and ruins the experience. I partially blame my friend Elijah for this one, because once he pointed it out, I was no longer able to ignore it.
  • For Retail: When People Wait Outside the Front Door of the Store Before Open… The Store (at least the one I work at) is open for 12 hours out the day…Get a life.
  • Cheesy Work Orientation Videos…Are they purposefully made to torture us? They want us to want to work for them, right?
  • When Celebs are Younger Than Me…How Dare they be more successful than me but not have been on this planet as long as I have. IT’S NOT FAIR
  • Worrying About Money/Finances…I hate adulting.
  • Retail: When People swipe their card before I’m even done scanning all their items into the register…Umm, impatient much?!
  • Retail: People Talking on their Bluetooth while walking through the store…You seriously look like a prick, and not to stereotype, but it’s always men in business attire. I hope they’re not trying to impress us all…they definitely aren’t. They’re still better than screaming kids though…
  • Retail: When People Bug constantly about Discounts, Coupons, or Marking Something Down…At a Used Book Store…The merch is already so much cheaper, if you’re still worried about the cost of something, maybe you shouldn’t be out shopping or spending money then?
  • Retail: When Customers Feel the Need to Tell Us Their Life Stories…Honestly, I usually don’t care, and this now annoys me because I once had to suffer a retired man and their story of them trying to justify why they’re homophobic or transphobic because they were picked on as a kid and became traumatized at even being associated with gay people…and I just don’t want to hear it anymore…Find some friends to talk to about that shit with, but good luck with that in these times.
  • People Who Don’t Read or Watch Stuff Because It’s Popular…Excuse me while I attempt to imitate Gene Wilder in that meme of him and how he’s sarcastically congratulating you on your individuality, you’re smarter and better than everyone and not just a douchey hipster…Just because there’s a bandwagon following, doesn’t mean its not good or not worth checking out…Get over yourself.
  • Over-Powerful Social Media Influencers…So, a lot of you have been asking, and yes…they’re annoying, and once social media dies, what are they going to do with their lives?
  • People Who Always Cancel or Never Show Up…Make a fucking commitment, or at least be proactive and try to reschedule on a specific date and time.
  • People Who Chew With Their Mouths Open…Close that shit up.
  • Drunk People When I’m Sober…Being the one sober person amongst drunk people sucks…it’s funny for only about the first five minutes.
  • Unibrows…I mean, do people actually not care that there’s a fucking caterpillar growing above their face?
  • When People Take Forever to Answer Back to a Message…Us millennials have our phones on them all the time, so how does this even happen? Either I’m actually boring AF, our the other person is a dick who can still post on Social Media but leave me on “read…”
  • MN Drivers…Minnesota Nice is out the fucking window, along with my patience, when it comes to how terrible a lot of drivers are up here in Minnesota. I can’t even consider it road rage anymore, it’s just how I normally drive at this point.
  • Insurance Companies…We pay a huge amount every month when we don’t need it, then have it raised after we actually use it? For the thing that it’s there for? What a scam…To bad it’s required.
  • How I Get When I Feel Like I’m never Enough, Sought After, or Desired…It’s been my whole life, and what about me is so unlikeable? What do people see about me that immediately turns them off from me and writes me off as someone not worth their time or respect? It’s happened too many times that I can just ignore it and try to tell myself that my worth is not determined by others…We all want to be loved.
  • People Who Make Everything About Themselves…Can we talk about my issues for once, Karen?
  • How Millennials Are Terrible At Keeping In Touch…Myself included, but we have so many ways to communicate right at our fingertips, tons of apps, smartphones, Facetime, Skype, etc. but we still can’t keep in touch with people and we suck at communicating to each other.
  • Trigger Society…It seems a lot of people go out of there way to find something to be angry about and have it “canceled”. Just don’t watch it, read it, go to it, whatever, why do you have to ruin for the people that enjoy it? It feels like a giant witch hunt half the time. Also, if a celeb apologizes for something they tweeted 11 years ago—aka doing the very thing people ask to do—LET IT GO, and stop holding it against them. Also, people need to get all the facts straight before jumping to conclusions, demonizing someone and trashing them all over the internet.
  • How Expensive The World Is…How do they expect us to live? Plus, we’re sometimes paying 5x more what something is actually worth from it’s cost of production, but I get it…It’s just business and simple economics.
  • Networking At Social Events…I’m an introvert and I hate/suck at small talk, it’s usually so cringeworthy and about the weather and I always feel so stupid afterwards…
  • Retail: When People are Extra Pushy about coupons…especially when it’s only 5 or 10% off. You’re not actually saving all that much unless its at least 25% in my opinion.
  • “The Walking Dead”…I gave the show multiple shots to draw me in, and I just can’t get past the second season. I just can’t get myself to care enough to keep going!
  • Camping…I’m talking the roughing it in a tent with no toilet or running water. Sorry not sorry, I’m a city boy who needs modern technological advances in order to survive. Get at me!
  • Chili…I’ve just never gotten into this food choice, but I can say I’ve tried it and can defs knock it!
  • Sweet Potatoes…Please refer to “Chili” directly above…
  • Amazon…the worst part of capitalism in our society today…I worked at one of the warehouses and can say it’s a nightmare and people are massively underpaid for the richest man in the world…also, how is it okay to be so rich that you DON’T have to pay for taxes?! If anyone agrees with that set up, you’re a part of the problem! Also, hate how psycho people get about that Prime next day delivery.
  • Frosting…And this is coming from someone who has a massive sweet tooth…I’m talking about the typical frosting you find on store-bought cupcakes or regular cake that tastes anything but natural. It’s sickly sweet, and there’s always WAY too much of it.
  • Politics…worth mentioning again.
  • Large Crowds…I’m claustrophobic, and people tend to suck in general.
  • Reality TV Shows…I’m not about to support someone “finding love” on The Bachelor or anything close to Jersey Shore and will wait for their 15 minutes to end already.
  • More to come as time goes on!

Thanks for Reading!

— Nick Goodsell

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