Total Star Rating: 4.25 Stars
They say there are three sides to every story; one person’s side, another person’s side, and the actual truth. Now, this quote can be or can not be actually related to this book, but I will admit that after reading it, this idea certainly came to mind.
This is a novel about the truth, different versions of the truth, what is true versus what is fiction, the characters an author can create, and when the line between them is called into question.
How well do we really know the truth? Do we think we know absolutely everything, do we think we have a grasp on everything in our lives? What if you discover that it was all a lie? It could be earth shattering, inconceivable, traumatizing, horrifying, and make you want to scream into the dark at the absurdity of it all.
This book is so unlike any other Colleen Hoover book you’ll ever read. It was fuucked up to say the least, and unlike her other titles, it leaves you staring at your ceiling late into the night, maybe even afraid of turning out the light. It explores a darker side of some of her complex, traumatized, and morally grey characters, but remains as binge-worthy and addicting as any of her lighter romance titles.
I will forewarn anyone who is heavily triggered by stories with child abuse and graphic violence should avoid this title!
I mean, I was kind of at a loss for rational thought as I finished this title…the ending absolutely tears you a new one; the final line pierces your heart and leaves you in an unstable state where you don’t know if you’re alright and question the stability of everything around you. It leaves you in a conundrum because it gives us an idea that will never be answered, it will remain up in the air in in our minds like a parasitic bug that will never be squashed.
It was a mindfuck, to be perfectly blunt about it.
I was totally not expecting this style from the author, who’s more known for New Adult Romance titles instead of psychological thrillers. She expertly leads us down a path of lies, manipulation, sex and betrayal as the story escalates, and it’s crazy to think that the story is about a writer who is reading up about another writer to work on their book series, all the while the author of this book is telling this to you; its a bit of a feeling of inception, and makes you question how reliable are all the sources you’re reading from? Is Colleen herself lying, is it the main character, or is it the author the main character reads about?
What It’s About:
Struggling author Lowen Ashleigh is in a tight spot; her mother had just died of cancer a week before, she received the pink slip of eviction from her apartment, and to make matters worse, the opening scene is her witnessing a random stranger’s head popping open like a champagne bottle when it’s squeezed beneath the wheel of a moving car, blood splattering all over her clothes as a nice souvenir for the free show.
It turned out she was on her way towards a meeting with her agent at a publishing company because she’s about to be offered the deal of a lifetime: Jeremy Crawford, husband of the bestselling mystery/thriller author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to finish his wive’s book series as she’s no longer physically able to continue it herself due to a life-threatening injury in a car accident.
After the contracts are signed and everything seems sorted out, Lowen goes up to Jeremy and Verity’s expansive estate up in Vermont in order to work through all the paperwork, the plot lines, the character sheets, and other ideas in order for her to feel confident enough to continue Verity’s books.
What she doesn’t expect to uncover is an unpublished autobiography from Verity about the days from when her and Jeremy first met all the way towards the deaths of their twin daughters, both of which died at separate times. Among that, things Lowen could never have thought of in her wildest imagination comes to light, thoughts Verity had kept beneath the surface until now, and what may have really happened on the day one of their daughters died. Disgusted and devastated, Lowen keeps the manuscript from Jeremy; he’s been grieving long enough, surely he didn’t need this startling discovery on top of everything else, right?
As she continues to dig through the chaotic office, her feelings for Jeremy begin to grow, and she finds herself struggling between that and whether she should really share the truth she found hidden in that office. It would make her life a lot better for him to learn the truth, and stop being the loyal, devoted husband he is towards his bed-ridden, human vegetable wife…
Whats a girl to do?
What I Liked:
- The Romance! True to her usual line of work, there is a romantic subplot through the story while Lowen slowly loses her fucking mind like the rest of us. While sorting through his wife’s office, she develops feelings for Jeremy Crawford and together they become closer and closer as she remains living in his home. Even the way they met was a great addition, even if it resulted from such a bloody opening scene!
- The Unreliable Narrator! This novel is told entirely from Lowen’s point of view, and as things progress, she tells us what she sees, or what she thinks she sees, and the author did an amazing job at using this to add tension to the story; make Lowen question her own sanity quite a bit, but also add tons of creepy vibes in order to make this book unable to be put down!
- IRL vs. Manuscript! After she discovers the manuscript of Verity’s autobiography, the chapters start to switch back and forth between what’s going on in the house, and the actual chapters of the manuscript itself. We see the actual words Verity typed up for her twisted tale. It started off sweet and innocent, but began to unravel and deeply disturb us as the chapters continued, revealing Verity as a much darker character than you’d come to realize.
What I Didn’t Like:
- The Final Words…If you couldn’t guess by the way I describe it above, the final message this novel gives you is a one-way ticket to Mindfuckopolis, because I was NOT OKAY after reading it! It’s not a badly written ending at all, it’s just so unnerving and chilling! I loved that it evoked so much emotion from me, but I felt like the meme of Kelly from The Office as I sat there and shook me head repeatedly trying to figure out what the real truth of it all was. It’s not even funny how much my expression matched hers shortly after I set this book down:
So it’s not all stickers, rainbows, ponies and myspace.com in this book like some of Colleen’s other romance titles; it’s dark, it’s twisty, it’s disturbing and unnerving and I am both HERE FOR IT but also low-key terrified at the promise this novel gives us…If this is something Colleen Hoover can deliver us from her first psychological thriller, imagine what else she could possibly come up with?!
I recommend this title for those looking for something absolutely chilling and creepy to read underneath the covers late at night. The tone of this book is so much darker and ominous that I anticipated from this author, but wound up loving how it drew me in and up late into the nights I read it. It felt subtle yet chaotic all at the same time, everywhere you turn will lead to more questions, more disturbing images, and make you take a second to glance around and observe the people closest in your life.
Whats truly boiling beneath the surface? Are they entirely honest, or is something much more malicious and benevolent hiding within?
Thanks for Reading!
— Nick Goodsell