
Number of pages: 528 Pages
Publisher: Bloom Books
Genre(s): Fantasy, Erotica, Romance
Total Star Rating: 4.25 Stars
What It’s About:
The official synopsis:
THIS BOOK IS NOT SAFE TO READ AT WORK. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Twenty year old Temperance Verus has never been kissed. But that’s what the basilisk is for.
Along with thirteen other contestants, Tem must train with a basilisk to learn the power of seduction and win the prince’s hand in marriage. When Tem is matched with Caspen, the Serpent King, she realizes she might actually stand a chance. But with tensions rising between the basilisks and the humans, Tem is suddenly torn in two directions.
As her bond with Caspen deepens, so does her connection with the prince, Leo. And when she uncovers a terrible secret about the royal family, Tem finds herself caught between two neither of which she can survive without.
Guaranteed to make you blush (and then some), Split or Swallow is like if fanfic Draco Malfoy went on the Bachelor and had to compete with a snake. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? That’s because it is!!
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…I don’t know if I’d necessarily call this book “unhinged” like so many are, unless thats a play words on how snakes can unhinge their jaws to eat large prey, then go off….ANYWAYS, I can say this book that I’ve been coining as the “snake porn” book was an entertaining journey no matter what any buzzword you want to also use!
This is like an oversexualized, Slytherin-esque with lots of snake shifters, adult version of the YA romance series, The Selection or the tv show The Bachelor, where there’s all these girls in the kingdom who are literally selected and made to compete for the hand (and heart?) of the prince, who is in his height of glory over all these girls fawning over him like he’s Justin-freakin-Beiber in his prime…but the twist? All the girls are being “trained” by the basilisk shifters, who are not exactly slaves but their kind lost some war long ago and so now they serve the royal family…Hey, I didn’t write it!
But yes, the basilisk shifters are to “train” these young women and help them learn the ways of seduction and how to please a man…so yes you can guess there is HELLA sex in this book. Temperance Verus, or Tem for short, is our FMC and she’s selected to be amongst this latest harem, and she’s paired with Caspen, a smoking hot (sometimes literally) basilisk shifter. From lots of spicy lessons, they develop feelings for each other, but Tem also finds herself drawn to the royal prince whom she’s trying to marry, so how’s a girl supposed to choose????
While this twisty love triangle is forming, there is also definitely some tension rising amongst the basilisks and the humans and war could definitely be on the horizon!
So despite this book not being as unhinged as the hype made it out to be, I did find myself really enjoying this one! It was fun, it was WEIRD, it was hella spicy, and most importantly it really kept my attention all throughout. Sure there were some major clichés with the cast like the beautiful mean girl rival, the slutty gay best friend, and the arrogant prince and the evil king who’s just evil for the sake of being evil, BUT it’s still actually an enjoyable story!
It’s one of those things where I feel like you can really like this one if you go in knowing not to take it seriously and if you’re into the dark and spicy romantasy books and slight monster erotica-ness to it too!
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What I Liked:
- The Love Triangle! I don’t care what anyone else says to this, I’m a fan of a love triangle arc when it’s done right! There are plenty of books where it isn’t, but this one was fun because at the end of it, part of me truly questions who Tem will end up with! I mean, obviously I’d ideally love it to become poly or just why choose/reverse harem
- The Spice Lessons! I actually enjoyed the aspect of this story of Caspen and Tem’s relationship building off the “lessons” Caspen bestows upon her throughout the first chunk of the book. It of course led to A LOT of smutty goodness in the story, and I’m now questioning if this book is going to be my gateway drug into monster romance…
What I Didn’t Like:
- The Cliché Cast of Characters…The one thing I was really mehhhhh about was that the cast of characters for this felt very cliché….we had the slutty gay best friend, the mean girl rival fighting for the hand of the prince, the “not like most girls” FMC makes for a pretty unoriginal cast of characters. Luckily the book is still fun to read, but most of these characters defs just felt like copy and pasted character archetypes we’ve seen so many other times.
- The Ending…The ending wasn’t necessarily bad, but I’m also definitely questioning where it’s going to take the story into the next book for sure. Like it’s definitely a choice to say the least.
Conclusion:
Overall, It was a fun and entertaining, but also sexually WILD story. Obviously don’t expect the next literary masterpiece with this, but spicy/smutty book lovers who enjoy some romantasy shenanigans with a sprinkle of monster romance too will find this book to be pretty fun! Just don’t go in taking it too seriously and just have fun with it is all I can suggest!
Thanks for Reading!
— Nick Goodsell


